The first of the bio's for the club campaign arrived yesterday. Matt's country will be the Principality of Sealand and he will be titled the Lord of Sealand. As this was all he sent me it gives me carte blanche to slander him & his country outrageously. So here goes:
The Principality of Sealand (From the Wyvernopedia, 3rd edition)
Sealand is the newest of the states of Wyvernia and is regarded by the rest of Wyvernia as a wretched hive of scum and villainy. It was created 21 years ago by it's current ruler Matt Finnishe self styled 1st Lord of Sealand.
The territory now occupied by Sealand was once a lush coastal province of Aipotu. This all changed on September 9th in the Year of the Elephant (now celebrated in Sealand as 'Liberation Day') when the Lord of Sealand's forces sailed out of the morning mist to bring death and destruction to the region. The attack was carried out by three separate forces. Two fast moving forces raced inland to claim the fortifications guarding the two mountain passes which provide the only access to the interior of Wyvernia. The third force led by the Lord of Sealand took the port city of Tortilla which also served as the regional capital.
The defending forces, such as they were, were taken completely by surprise and the whole province was taken with very little loss of life. This was to change in the days that followed though as many prominent merchants and landowners 'gladly donated all their worldly goods to support the Lord of Sealand in his crusade to rescue the oppressed people from the Tyranny of the Hermit of Aipotu'. What happened to these merchants and landowners after they made their donations is unknown as they were never heard of again.
Once news of the invasion reached the capital of Aipotu, The Hermit (the ruler of Aipotu) was slow to react. This was probably due to the copious amounts of hallucinogens he was taking in his 'Quest for the Light'. By the time the Aipotan forces arrived the passes were closed against them. They made a token attack and then gave up and returned to the capital.
The Lord of Sealand portrays his country as a utopian paradise where all are equal and the Lord of Sealand is so beloved by his people that they regularly give him gifts as thanks for his beneficent rule. In return the Lord of Sealand has abolished all taxation and pledged to support the country at his own expense. The reality is somewhat different. The Lord of Sealand uses the 'Corps of Helpers' to keep the citizens in check through the use of intimidation and terror. The Helpers collect the 'voluntary' gifts from the citizens. Those citizens who fail to provide a sufficient gift are 'helped' to the hospital to have their broken limbs treated or 'helped' from their burning houses on to the street.
Matt, Lord of Sealand rarely leaves his palace. The walls of the throne room are reportedly lined with so many boxes and treasure chests that even the Lord of Sealand himself has lost track of their contents. Lord Matt has also added a sunken fighting arena in the centre of the vast throne room where he watches and sometimes even takes part in combats so varied and depraved that one wonders what kind of mind devised them.
Theories abound about where the Lord of Sealand gained enough wealth to fund the initial invasion. Most people believe he ran criminal enterprises in the various cities across Wyvernia and may even have been the fabled 'Grey Man' one time head of the Thieves Guild. All that is known for sure is that asking too many questions about the Lord of Sealand is never good for one's health.
Details on Aipotu and it's ruler the 'Hermit at Mink Hollow' will be available from the Wyvernopedia soon.
Nice one I like that a lot :) I think !
ReplyDeleteMy wonderful subjects are a real resource ;)
Cheers Matt
Thats what you get for not giving me a detailled brief ;-)
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